Excommuncation and the family

I read through this article made by the witnesses today. I´v read throught it several times before, and crossreferenced all the bibleverses they "build" the article from.
You can find it here
There are two different things here I can´t agree with. Things I had an issue with from the beginning, but saw through a different light then.

I don´t agree with the excommunication-process, but there are a lot of scripual refferances that are in line with what the witnesse are doing. Jesus followers created congregations and put down several principles on how to shepherd over them. If you belive in the bible, this is hard to argue against. There are several practical rules in the congregation on how this should be handled, many of them interpered from the bible, but not litterly written down.

What I have some problems with is how this is dealt within the family, and how the excommunication is used to scare and "force" people back to the congregation.

The only scriptual reference to that the family shouldn´t have any contact with the excommunicated person is this one
The problem I have with this is two separe things. The first is that this is written far before Jesus walked on this earth, and before he created the new congregation and principles christian live under now. Even if the principles from the Old testement may still have value, people that belive in Jesus and God should not live under its rules. We don´t stone people anymore, or hold slaves for example.
The witnesses carries the argument that as the child dies for its sins, the family can no longer be with the family-member. So, according to this, an excommunicated person is dead to its family. He/she has alredy been condemmed by God and will suffer death as penalty. Its like sitting in deathrow, waithing for the leathal injection.
The problem with this is that while God might be almighty, people arn´t. Things go wrong and misstakes are made.
I know that women have been excommunicated for beeing raped, and not yelling during the actual rape. They have changed this now, and articles from the early 90:s state that the woman could be so paralyzed or scared that she can´t scream for help, and thus should not feel shame for this. But until that date, people were shunned if they did not scream.
This is outragous and no the work of an Loving God.

So, if the argument is true, then the elderly take on the right of God and condem the excommunicated people to death, thinking they are God?
This, on the other hand is hard do argue with. But many argue that this is only relevant to friends and people within the congregation, not relatives

There is no verse in the bible that state that family-members should stay away from their excommunicated family-members

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